anxiety · mental illness · social anxiety · The Blogger · The Journey

When Life Throws you a curve ball!

Never in life do you want to think there is something wrong with you out of the ordinary but when there is what are you going to do about it?

Give up?

I’ve dealt with that question half my life and I’ve dealt with it alone never wanting to say it out loud because of the shame it caused me. Up until recently I finally decided that I’ve had enough that I actually have people that care about me that I could talk to and so I did with a heavy heart and hazy mind and it made me see that I should’ve spoken up sooner I’ve gotten so good at pretending everything was fine and that I was alright that I constructed a mask and a wall.

Being a kid is amazing, being a teenager is all sorts of an emotional roller coaster but yet there suppose to be the best years of your life and then there is being an adult time to put your big girl or boy pants on and decide where life is going to take you with you as the guide.

Sometimes life doesn’t let you be the guide sometimes it hands you issues that you never thought would exist or even knew they could exist and you are left feeling lost and alone and not knowing what to do!

Like I said giving up? I speak for myself and myself only but that wasn’t an option for me I knew that the time was ticking and I needed help.

diagnosis: social anxiety

definition:

For people with social anxiety disorder, everyday social interactions cause irrational anxiety, fear, self-consciousness, and embarrassment.

Symptoms may include excess fear of situations in which one may be judged, worry about embarrassment or humiliation, or concern about offending someone.
It was a tough pill to swallow but at the same time I feel so relieved that I finally know why I feel the way I do half the time and the best part is that I don’t have to feel like I want to give up yes I still get frustrated half the time but I’m taking the steps to try and control my mind with therapy and being open with myself and others.
I’m starting this journey where I want to say:
yes I have an anxiety disorder but it doesn’t have me!
I just want one thing to feel HAPPY!

 

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