Having a relationship is not just all fun and games of course we all want to find that perfect someone that we can walk into the sunset but even then with those relationship you gotta be ready to expect some hardships just because the flower is beautiful doesn’t mean you don’t have to water it occasionally right?
With having social anxiety you worry way more about that because you wonder who would want to date you? how are you going to meet that person? meeting them? being to caught up in your anxious thoughts to actually open up and be vulnerable and most of all are you able to be there for them?
Some cases if you do find someone that person can take your mental state as a weakness and take advantage of the situation knowing damn well its hard for you to stand up for yourself that’s why even in your bad days know your worth and never let it get that far always remember you are more than your mental illness. I’m not saying this is always the case but just a reminder!
People with social anxiety are perfectly nice, normal regular people that really all they need is someone who can work their way around this anxiety and be okay with it because yes some parts might be out of the ordinary but its still a relationship between two people that like each other.
Things to know when dating someone with social anxiety
- don’t take it personally if its not you it really is them! sometimes their fears gets in the way so don’t add more to it by making them feel worst because its not about you at all!
- social events and plans, don’t just lay it out on them on the same day or week be understanding that sometimes they won’t feel up for it or comfortable or that fun things that you enjoy might be dreadful for them he/she will most likely also be understanding if you would still want to go ahead without them its all about compromising their good at that and not making them feel guilty or bad and vice versa.
- dating someone you’re likely to rely on them for small tasks like calling up your phone’s customer support or returning something to the store don’t get offended when you see them hesitant to help you with something so simple the truth they are probably feeling so bad they want to help but the deep fears and insecurities are standing in the way and the fact that they can even help with that he/she might seem useless in your eyes adds more to the insecurities and anxiety.
- if you see a good opportunity for them don’t push them to it the last thing someone with social anxiety needs is for you to push them into something they aren’t comfortable yet and then feeling disappointed that they disappointing you.
- introduction to friends and family its a big step in every relationship everyone feels nervous but social anxiety people feel it worst just know they are trying their hardest so don’t get upset if they aren’t being as sociable as you would want them to be around the important people in your life just be proud of them that they are trying!
- it is not just the social situation that brings on the panic the anticipation of said event can trigger anxiety attacks you’ll often find them worrying about an interview or a wedding weeks ahead of time sometimes trying to figure out ways they can avoid the situation altogether rather than risk going this can affect the relationship especially if its important to you if your in it reassurance is always key letting them know you’ll be there the whole time and if it gets too much they could go.
- never say things like “it’ll be okay” or “just come on everything will be fine” or “its no big deal” thinking that the anxiety will just fade away in time unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.
- It is extremely important for social anxiety people to have relationships which are safe spaces for them where they feel free of judgment or disapproval where they have no fear of getting humiliated, It’s something everyone deserves but is more important when dating someone with social anxiety you become part of their safe place.
- it can stay or it can’t go only therapy is a way to help deal with it, it can improve a person’s responses to social situations but it might never really go away an important fact to understand for a person dating someone with social anxiety don’t live under and illusion that it is a temporary problem.
At the end of the day just be honest!
are you sure you’re okay with his/hers anxiety?
can you deal with it?
never live a lie or give false hopes noting the other person dealing with the social anxiety will take it much harder its the oversensitive part of them.
Dating someone with social anxiety isn’t the end of the world but being realistic it also isn’t everyone’s cup of tea either.
Remember they are working just as hard at it as you!