labeled: The Strong One

Has this happened to you being labeled the strong one even though you feel like the weakest of them all?

I don’t know if it has to do with the fact that concealing my social anxiety and depression ever since I could remember having it was the cause of people perceiving this image of me. I don’t want to say I blame them or resent them for labeling me this way but I kinda wish they knew that I’m not as strong as they think specially if they know now what I’m dealing with.

Funny how I’m the one they lean on when they want advice or voice their troubles that don’t seem like much but I listen maybe that’s it I’m a great listener but I mean of course I am since I don’t really like talking about myself and my issues its part of my social anxiety.

They admire that I don’t cry in situations where I should or that I don’t let the heavy get to me and I seem to move on quickly from things. Its not that I don’t or do its just that I grew up mentally training myself to not show my true emotions due to shame or. . .I still don’t even know.

If you’re anything like me I come from a great family I have no complaints but there wasn’t much affection shown there just wasn’t yes we all know we love each other and we’ll be there for the other but its never said out loud and if it is its kinda weird, could this be a factor too?

I’m dealing with a lot and it sucks I wish I could just erase my anxiety and depression from my life but I know I can’t and though I’ve voice my issues and struggles and the people around me are trying to understand when they see me smiling or actually just being myself they think I’m fine being mentally ill is such a hard illness because it isn’t shown and people just assume you’re getting by just fine.

Its like you’re having a semi okay day and though you love the person coming to you for help with an issue or advice with things they’re dealing with you can’t turn them away because you’d feel guilty so you listen and try and be there for them with positive words that you are trying to tell yourself and them telling you they wish they could be like you not caring so much and moving on.

oh how wrong they are!

I don’t know how to tell them that I just can’t deal with all that to please lay off me once in awhile that I’m overwhelmed and they aren’t helping coming to me with their problems when I’m working/trying so hard to overcome mine and that yes I will try to be there for them but how about thinking about me too?

Its not me being STRONG its just my way of dealing with my weakness which the weakness being my social anxiety and depression.