We’ve all had those moments of anger and irritation just an off day where everything gets on our nerves you don’t necessarily have to be mentally ill to have a day like this or to have arguments with a person you love or care about specially family it’s human nature part of relationships and just life.
If you’re anything like me opening up to people and letting my guard down is something very hard to do. I hate feeling like a weakling I don’t like people seeing me cry and I specially don’t like it when they do know too much where its easy for them to have the upper hand in the situation. With my mental health struggles with Anxiety/Social Anxiety (I think I’ve said this before in a different post) it made me developed a wall where I learned to hide my feelings so well just to prove I’m fine because I didn’t want the attention and because it made me feel embarrassed about myself because I just knew people wouldn’t understand.
Fast forward to now where I’ve opened up completely about it to my family, even though it’s still hard to talk about it I make the effort to do so just so they can understand me better and by they I mostly mean my parents. I’m am an adult but I think many can relate that it doesn’t really matter how old you get sometimes the only people that can make you feel better are your mom and dad if you’re lucky enough to have good ones but sometimes even the best of parents make mistakes and say the wrong things and hurt your feelings they too can disappoint you.
I don’t know if mine know they are doing it or if I’m just being over sensitive?
Being a girl you have those little bickering moments with your mom regarding many different things and topics and when you have a very strong minded the “I’m always right” type of personality for a father things get kinda heavy at times.
Arguments, Disagreements and sometimes even verbal fights are unavoidable with the people closest to you but I think the worst part is when they use your weakness for their gain. When you’re little your parents tell you not to listen to kids if they are being mean to you the famous phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” gets thrown into the mix early on which I think its such bullshit! I say bullshit because words do hurt and they hurt like hell not just when you are a child but when you are an adult as well.
I can never comprehend how people can use something that makes you feel so low about yourself, something that you’re struggling with and use it against you to the point where you can’t even come up with a quick comeback, a good reactions because their words feel like they have just knock the air out of you like a straight bullet to the chest of wounds you’re trying to close and heal.
I’m not saying I’m a saint and have never in my life done such a thing but I know for a fact that I’ve never used someones weakness and struggles to bring them down just so I can gain and win, what is the price anyway?
I wish people were more compassionate specially to the ones they love and know are going through a hard time where everyday is like a new beginning for them and to not throw it in their face and treat it like just some regular flaw that can be fixed overnight. I wish they knew how the remarks they say without thinking too hard about it can affect the person and for what just to win a silly argument? to prove they are right and you are wrong? words are very powerful and once they are said you can’t them back.