Sometimes life has shitty ways in reminding you on how it can be unfair sometimes, I’m the type of person that avoids confrontation or just lets stuff slide in order for me not to show my weakness. Lately I feel like I’ve gone beyond and more to be there for the people I love if you follow my blog you’ll see that the number one thing in my life is my family. (part of that has to be because of my social anxiety and my struggles) I’ve been through so much in regards to my mental health alone for you can say 98% of it till now and even through those roller coaster of emotions I was and still am capable of being there for the people I love even when I don’t feel up to it.
which brings me to this:
Apart from being my sister she has also been my best friend for the last five years as we grew older sharing everything and anything she’s the one I’ve felt the most comfortable finally opening up about the demons I face everyday of my life. I mostly listen to her problems and if you don’t know people with social anxiety at least in my perspective we like listening to others talk and give them the advice we should be taking ourselves.
Basically she knows my story and my insecurities and everything in between which I’ve let her known and vice versa. So it sucks that now that things are going her way again which I’m happy about don’t get me wrong she has started to forget the value of family and even the value of not only being my sister but my best friend.
She took a weakness of mine and used it against me in a argument which I was right to be a bit upset that she was leaving my family birthday get together. . .expecting me not to take it to heart because “Wendy is made of steal and she never gets upset or cries” am I suppose to just be okay with it? pretend I’m fine?
I had the Monday blues yesterday the depression that hits me started to creep in so it also didn’t help to hear my dad the person I considered my hero after what he went through recently take his frustrations on me the one person that is doing everything she can to help him and putting aside my feelings/struggles/bad days aside to help him only for him to say “he does not need to appreciate it”
I’m just ranting now…….