I’ve had a good blog post in mind since I need to get some things off my mind but ironically my mind doesn’t want to cooperate with me. Just know that there is a person out there in the world struggling and when they say they feel tired it isn’t because they’ve had a long day the reason is they’re just tired in general tired of always having to try only to feel like they aren’t moving, that’s what it is I always feel like I’m frozen in time and the world is moving around me.
You can get up every morning, get dressed put on that happy exterior while your interior is on empty.
At least that’s me at this time.
Just because I ain’t out there starving and have a roof over my head and have people around me that I know care about me isn’t going to cure and shoo away the dark foggy thoughts from my mind making my life feel gray and hopeless.
It always wins, you know? Maybe you don’t consider yourself lucky.
“I’ve been thinking about the end just way too much…but it’s fun to fantasize” -Twenty One Pilots (lyrics)
“I’m so tired. I’m so tired, all the time, even when I’m at my happiest. At my worst I’m convinced I’m a total waste of oxygen who leeches off her family and friends and doesn’t deserve their love. No matter how many times I convince myself that’s just the depression talking, my anxiety makes sure I fixate on it to the point of obsession (which ironically makes me look even more needy and neurotic). When I sleep in all day or go for constant naps or hang around doing nothing with my life; it’s because I can’t face the day, not because I’m lazy.” –