anxiety · depression · mental health · social anxiety · The Blogger · The Journey


When I first started seeking professional help for both my anxiety and depression what I was the most worried about was taking medication. I just didn’t want to become addicted to anything I got even more anxiety over that and the side affects they may cause me.

A lot of people are against them and personally choose not to take any I was leaning towards that in the beginning and trying to search for home remedies, natural teas and just different ways that I could change my mindset without taking prescribe drugs where I need to show my ID whenever I had to pick them up at the pharmacy.

At the end though I ended up choosing medication instead why? because it was what I realize was and is best for me. When you have been dealing with something for more than ten years you just have to do what’s best and at the end that is what it came down to.

Still just because I choose the medication route doesn’t mean I didn’t get anxiety when I first got it I mean I was having an anxiety attack while waiting in line to fill in my prescription at Walgreens, and I was also a bit ashamed that the pharmacist were all gonna know my issues just by reading then names of the medication.

I think I posted about this before but I just get so nervous and anxious and I start to overthink a lot because I don’t want to become addicted and add another bullet in my list of issues to overcome.

I literally read over the medication details like five times and write the side affects and reactions in sticky notes and stick them somewhere visible just so I could know if I ever start feeling some sort of way to stop taking them immediately. (little tip stay away from google searching any medication you are taking it just adds more fire to the blaze going on in your head)

I’ve only had to switch medications twice, one because it wasn’t doing anything honestly and the other because I got an allergic reaction.

I just got prescribe another medication to help me sleep because as of late it takes me about three hours to officially fall into a deep sleep and then I’m wide awake at 6am or earlier than that I literally have bags under my eyes which I never did before.

So that’s three medication in total that I am now taking does it scare me? heck yes.

but do I need them? I have to say another heck yes.

Still I feel anxious about it because like a true over thinker I am thinking five steps ahead like always….things like…..

I’m going to get every bad side affect or I’m probably going to get a bad reaction.

What about if I’m just taking them but they aren’t doing anything for me and its all in my head that they are and I’m just harming my body and brain with these useless chemicals?

and specially I just don’t want no one to know that I need them to be okay.

I know they aren’t magic pills, though I wish they were.

Pills, Anxiety, Pills, Depression, Pills, Insomnia, Pills.

What is your take on this? Let me know down below.


6 thoughts on “Pills

  1. Hello 🙂 Reading this was like reading my own thoughts haha! Sometimes I read other people’s blogs just to make sure I’m not on my own. I’ve just started new meds, so far so good.
    I’ve stopped Googling ANY symptoms at all now, it works for me. Sometimes, if I’m really concerned about something I get my sister to check it out for me. She’ll then only tell me stuff I need to know. I’m lucky to have her.

    Come by and say Hi if you wanna talk x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do the same when I first decided to make my blog account I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be too personal but on here I feel more free to talk than I do in person so I see it as a very good thing as well I need to know I’m not the only one that feels the way I do.

      I would google in the beginning and wouldn’t be able to sleep just thinking about all that could happen and though I’m alright right now I still get those moments of panic because I’m just wondering if I’m harming my body in any way it’s crazy!

      and thank you I sure will if I do 🙂


  2. Medication definitely has it’s right time and place! It’s time is up to you – and it’s place is alongside all the other things you do to take care of yourself. I just wrote a post on how SSRI’s may or may actually not help with depression – but anxiety is a different story, and there is evidence to support that SSRI medications do help people with anxiety. Anyways, whatever you decide to do with your health is great as long as it’s best for you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yeah at the end it is everyone’s individual decision just have to make sure it right and you’re body and mind don’t start acting a diffrent way that makes you uncomfortable or feel even worst! And thank you for the information you’re always the best I mean that sincerely and girl your pictures are beautiful your sister did a great job!


  3. Clear all your doubts regarding ilare pills working or no to your doc there’s always a way to relief everything that troubles you just dig deeper and know what’s it disturbing you. Soon you’ll not need those pills 🙂 you are a great person. Xo

    Liked by 1 person

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