anxiety · depression · Life Topics · mental health · social anxiety · The Blogger · The Journey

Baby Steps

I’m back again with another post in the update of my happiness. Lately I’ve been a little sour when it comes to being positive and motivating myself to do a lot because I just don’t feel like I’m up for the challenge. If I do my anxiety keeps me on edge and my depression just tells me it isn’t worth it and just stay in my cocoon a.k.a my room and bed.

I’ve been so caught up in my routine of just saying no to a lot of things because I just see no point to it I feel like it has gotten a bit worst the last couple of months due to stressful situations that take a toll on my mindset. People have notice and of course I’ve notice as well but I just don’t care that’s the attitude I carry then I become mean or stand offish towards everyone and once I’m alone I start having anxiety thoughts that make me feel like a horrible person because there was no need for that.

Yesterday I woke feeling tired which is pretty much everyday I started drinking more water to see if it helps me with it and with the headaches I get because of the lack of sleep I’ve been having the new medication I got makes me feel drowsy even after waking up so that’s a bummer.

Anyway yesterday my aunt was getting married I knew about it weeks ago but wasn’t planning on attending she’s my dad’s cousin and I’m not really close to that side of his family I was just planning of having another Saturday at home and watch a movie or something I automatically said “No” when ask if I was going. After having breakfast I realize I just say no all the time even when I’m not feeling anxious or having a gray blurry day I’ve just gotten so use to it like I said.

I stop myself from a lot of things because I carry this attitude of feeling solemnly all the time and its better just to avoid it because what if?

I can’t be living life this way so I looked in my closet and saw my pretty blue big girl flats that I haven’t worn since I bought them and decided I was going to go and determine to not sabotage myself and have a fun time (I should add my parents were surprise but my mom I could tell it made her happy). So I got ready there was a moment when I was done with my make-up where my bed looked more appealing but I ignored the thoughts and feeling and quickly left my room before I changed my mind.

I had a decent time my best friend/cousin also was in attendance and another cousin of mine I laughed, I chatted and smile watching people dance all that while I was going to choose to stay home by myself and be lonely because is the only feeling I think its meant for me.

Yesterday was a baby step in the right direction where I’m going to try and say no less often and just push myself to say yes even if my comfort zone is being tested because I realize I’ve probably missed so many great times I could’ve had and those moments could’ve benefit my happiness.

Baby Steps Are Worth More Than One Huge Step You Weren’t Ready For, Remember That! – Wendy xoxo

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6 thoughts on “Baby Steps

  1. Baby steps ♡ I wish most people could read this. It’s kind of motivating. It’s great to read this like how you pull yourself together even by lil movement. That’s great attitude xoxo God Bless You.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Something I wouldn’t even think of doing. I get ready in my room and allllways, half way through my makeup I’m like nah I’m not going and get right back in bed. My friends will text me or see me out and say “you coming to this this weekend?” And my spit out reaction is no and they roll their eyes and just say they don’t know when they’ll be able to get me outta my funk. And guess what.. I dunno when I will either.. but reading positive stories like this gives me a bit more hope that when I do say yes, I won’t be wishing for my bed all night!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Don’t beat yourself up because I know sometimes we all have to say no even when we want to say yes, your friends seem to not understand it’s not a funk you are in since it is mental health month whoever you are close with maybe encourage them to read upon the topic more closely if they learn about it they will understand you better I still have people close to me that don’t understand but it’s because they are not educated enough on mental health. I’m not a success story yet and probably never will and I don’t mean this to discourage you I think we all need to learn more about ourselves in order to help ourselves be better or just feel good and happy with what we got. It will always feel like everyone else has it easy but there is a reason we are in this earth for a reason and we just have to fight a little harder unfortunately doesn’t mean we aren’t worth it.

      p.s
      if you ever need a talk I’m here for you.
      xoxoxo

      Like

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