Mental Health Awareness Month
Today I woke up and started thinking about my social anxiety trying to dig deeper into the issue that I hate the most in having to deal with. There really isn’t an answer as to why I developed it though I have many speculations and what ifs that flow through my mind on a regular basis.
I think for me finally opening up about it and professionally getting diagnose was really helpful because it wasn’t my secret anymore a secret that constantly made me feel so unworthy as a person. Talking about it helped me in many ways but the most important one is finding out that I’m not the only one in the world that has to deal with this or dealt with it.
Mental Health/Illness always makes us feel like we’re alone personally I think there is always going to be a part of me that will always feel that way but still knowing I’m not alone and that others are fighting the same battle as me weather it be anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, bipolar disorder and so on gives hope of strength because we all manage to still get up and try even when we feel like we are lost in a maze and our worst enemy is our own mind.
I’m trying to learn to not give in and let it win instead fight harder!
In a way its like you’re sharing your body and mind with someone else that you absolutely can’t stand and hate that you can’t control but if you have dealt with it for a long time you let it become the biggest part of you and trying to get out feels impossible (I don’t know why the show Stranger Things popped into my mind if you have watched the show feels like we are stuck in the upside down). But if you start talking about it taking control and fighting it to the best of your ability you slowly start freeing yourself.
A baby step that leads you to a big step.