I realise I drown myself in my own sadness and whenever the happy moments happen I take them for granted because I’ve put them in a box labeled “they won’t last”. In my mind I’ve got it use to just feeling numb to any other foreign feeling that I find is just temporary and it’s a curse to have this habit when all you want is for those feeling to be permanent. It’s fear and self sabotage that makes me not like myself but when I’m smiling and having a good time then suddenly I need to go and lay down and sleep because depression hit me out of nowhere I pat myself in the back because I was ready for it. Excuse my language but it’s all just a mind-fuck.
Anyway here’s to another week ahead hopefully less hot (Southern California heatwave) and with more positive vibes just know I’m still hoping with that hint of faith.